AI, robots, and androids? Bring 'em on!

Image courtesy of Pixabay

I'm intrigued by artificial intelligence (AI), robots, androids, etc. In fact, I want an android RIGHT now. One like Data from Star Trek, or even better.

I'd probably feel more comfortable and relaxed around an android than I do most human beings these days. Hope to see and/or own one before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Before you ask, I'm not afraid. Are you kidding? Humans are terrifying and could end the entire human race at any moment. I'm just not afraid of technology or the possibilities of future tech as much as many people are.

Obviously, there are concerns and warnings we should heed in the development of such technology, but I DO NOT want to go back to the dark ages. Those weren't the 'good old days' for me. Not at all.

I prefer to be a forward-thinking person who is open to brand new worlds, amazing technology, and infinite possibility.

Britt's spiderweb eyes

My daughter's keeping it creepy, which is what my family does all year long :-)

[Dream] Kate & Dean Rickershaw

While I'm at it, my propensity to dream names, addresses, and the like still occurs. The night before last I dreamed about the names 'Kate and Dean Rickershaw.' I do not know anybody by those names, but I saw those words written out in my dream.

Once again, I have NO idea why I see names, addresses, and random words written out in my dreams. However, I've made it a point to try and tell Paul about it when it happens and to write it down somewhere should I have to refer to it later.

Dutch/Rotterdam connection?

Many months ago, I had a dream where such a ship appeared and I was on that ship, watching as it was sailing near a big city. I blogged/journaled about it and may have posted about it here as well. Now I'm glad I did write about it because the other night I had the STRANGEST experience where I had a FLASH memory of me in a past life (at least that's how I understood it).

Out of the blue, I saw myself wearing a medium blue linen dress, along with a blue hat that had a strip of white along the edge. The hat fabric had triangles folded up on each side. I 'saw' myself dressed like this and knew I'd seen that type of hat before, but couldn't immediately place where I'd seen it because I was almost ready to fall asleep myself and in a hypnogogic state. Which, of course, is when fantasies, hallucinations, and all sorts of mind-altering stuff can occur.

After Googling images, I found the hat I saw in the sudden flash in my mind -- turns out I was in traditional Dutch dress, and the hat was a traditional Dutch hat (!!). I knew I'd seen it before, but it didn't connect at the time what kind of hat it was or who would wear it. Color me shocked! I also found images of people wearing the SAME clothes I 'saw' myself wearing in that flash memory.

Then I remembered that this past year I'd dreamed about the ship with 'Rotterdam' written across the side of it. That past dream was suddenly triggered. I Googled images and found a ship with 'Rotterdam' on the side of it. BINGO! There it was. It was all too weird.

In addition, I then remembered that I'd signed up to take a course on Dutch. I signed up for no apparent reason; it just seemed interesting. With everything else going on at the time, I'd abandoned the course because my load was too full and I'd decided to take it on a whim with thoughts of completing it later.

The other night it all came to me. I tried to tell Paul, but he was half-asleep and as I was telling him, he fell off into slumberland. So I texted Britt about the entire thing so I could remember it later to post here and on my blogs. I didn't want to forget everything, and once I fall asleep, I'm apt to forget things when they're pushed out of my head by new dreams and thoughts.

Now, I cannot say this was a past memory. I have no proof of that. The image flashed into my mind and the thought that came with it was that it was me in a past life. But we all know our minds are cunning things, don't we? Regardless, what an amazing, living computer our minds are!

I'm not sure what this was all about, but it was cool as hell and I don't know what to make of it. But I did go and sign up to take that Dutch class again!

Rest in peace, Isis

My 52nd year hasn't started out so well, but it will get better. Today our 15-year-old black cat, Isis, died. She was old, cranky, and quite a diva. She died the same month, four years later, that our other black cat, Osiris, left us.

I'm incredibly sad, but we knew her time was coming. I've been in bed most all day, just like yesterday, but with a raging headache.

I'm feeling out of sorts, so it's going to be a bit before I'm up for conversation and regular tomfoolery. Right now I'm having a huge sad. But, as usual, I'll get my head straight again and dive into regular activities in short order. At least that's the plan.

Lovely birthday art made by friends

Thank you to my wonderful friends Chandra Wilkins and Laura Brown for making me these lovely birthday greetings. They're beautiful and I am grateful that you thought to make them for me <3.

I'd also like to thank all the wonderful family, friends, and colleagues who made it a point to wish me a happy birthday as well.

Quick update

Ten short edits in my queue for today, 1,347 words written (so far, 'cause I'm not done yet), and an important tarot reading completed. Just started my night, too! Definitely in the mood to write, create, and blog this evening.

In other news, my sciatica is much better. The past couple days I've had a few tinges of minor pain, but overall I'd say I'm 95% better. The Baclofen and Meloxicam have done wonders.

We are the lucky ones. For now.

I'm getting ready to make dinner and I can't stop thinking about Aleppo. To paraphrase my daughter, she said she's in her comfy apartment, watching movies with her fiance, and these horrific things are happening in Aleppo (and elsewhere, I might add).

You know, Paul and I live in a 30-ft RV. We don't have a permanent home and we don't know what the future holds for us. And right now, it's pretty damned scary for some of us in the United States of America, and on a global scale. Any of us could be part of what's happening in Aleppo in the near future.

Things can and do change in an instant, and big, holy-shit! events can happen when you least expect it -- or even when you do. This is not news, as it's always been that way. But lately, I've had a lot of things on my mind. And lately I've been thinking how it's best to appreciate the small things, the good things, the hopeful things as much as you can because nothing is guaranteed and nothing is set in stone.

This, again, is nothing new. But sometimes you have to have your country, your world, and your mind rocked out of its sockets to remind yourself of that. To remind yourself that one night you could be making dinner and watching Netflix, and a year from now you may have no dinner at all -- and you sure as hell won't have Netflix, because that would be the last thing on your mind.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us. But I do know that it's up to all of us to bring about a country -- and a world -- we all want to live in TOGETHER. And I don't know where any of this is going because this is a stream-of-consciousness post. Except that maybe I wanted to tell you all that, no matter what does happen to any of us, I want to thank you for your presence in my life, even if it's been through Facebook. Maybe you've made me laugh, cry, get pissed off, or whatever...but you affected me in some way, and that has made me grow as a person.

I don't know about you, but I have more life to live and more goals, ambitions, and dreams to pursue. Like you, I want to spend more time with my kids and I am looking forward to holding my first grandbaby. I'm not done here yet, you're not done here yet, this country isn't done yet, and this world damn sure isn't.

So this is a reminder that it's up to us to make the world a better place, in whatever way we can, and even if it's a small daily thing...because small acts add up and influence events and people. There is no 'us' and 'them.' The truth is there's only *us*, and we've gotta find a way to make all of this work out for the present and the future. If we don't, there's no going back.

Now I'm going to walk into my small kitchenette and make dinner. And my thoughts won't be on dinner, but many other things instead. I don't have a big home, a huge kitchen, or any property to call my own save for this RV, but tonight I am in a relatively safe place with food and shelter, which is a lot more than others can say.

Paul and our family are not being massacred by Assad's forces or burned alive, as some reports are saying. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. Women and children are NOT being spared in Aleppo. And all for what? For what, I ask you? I KNOW the so-called reasons...but ALL FOR WHAT?

Life is short and precious. All of this -- THIS -- goes away. Your big house, your food, your possessions, your...THINGS, countries, ideologies. Your body ceases to exist. As for your soul...well, we all know we can't or don't agree on that. But the pain, suffering, horror...it's too much to wrap one's head around. And it seems so needless in the end. Doesn't it? It does, at least for me.

And here we will sit, eating dinner soon, but there will be a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes because we are the lucky ones. At least for now.

Timing is everything.

Pulled a card today: Maiden Moon from The Enchanted Oracle tarot deck. Enjoy!

Oracle Interpretation:
"Whatever you are thinking of doing, pay attention to when you plan on doing it. The matter at hand is particularly sensitive to timing. This may either be lunar timing or circumstantial timing. Whatever it is, do pick carefully in order to assure the best possible success."

"Did someone say, 'Burrito'?"

Our son Jon sent this photo of him eating a luscious burrito from Taco Garcia in Chicago. Check out their dog Jack's expression. Cracks me up!

One of my crow babies came to visit us today!

Look who came to visit Mother of Crows (me) today. Our friend Tom took these pics! Thanks so much, Tom. This is crazy cool.

Choose wisely

I want to believe in my fellow Americans. I want to believe the majority of this country won't allow a misogynistic, narcissistic, bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, psychopath to take control of the White House.

I want to believe that my family and friends won't TRULY support a man who speaks so disparagingly of women or makes fun of disabled people.

I want to believe the people I am related to or friends with aren't really that mean, cruel, or insensitive deep inside, especially the ones who sit in church pews on a regular basis, all while extolling the virtues of Jesus Christ.

I want to believe the people I grew up with or went to school with don't secretly hate or disparage me and Paul – or the rest of my family – because we are liberals, and that they don't truly believe we are 'retarded' or stupid (because we aren't).

I want to believe people will think rationally and realize this election is more than about us alone; instead, it's about the country we leave to our children and grandchildren. It's about the entire world (because, yes, we are PART of the world, but NOT the only country in the world.)

I want to believe people will stop and truly think before casting their vote and consider the consequences of their actions. Because this election, more than any other election in my lifetime, could mean the difference between surviving as a country or even surviving as a human being.

The wrong person in office, with the wrong temperament in this current world of turmoil, could mean dire and deadly consequences. Your vote could be signing not only your death warrant, but everyone else's, too. This is NOT a drill.

Your choice could, in fact, help bring about the end of the world. And while I know some of you may WANT that because you're trying to consciously or subconsciously bring about armageddon, the rest of us want to LIVE and LOVE for as long as we are able. We, just as much as you, deserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I don't want to die. I want to live.

I don't want my children to die. I want my children to live.
Make no mistake: tomorrow's choice could very well be a choice between living and dying.

My daughter is pregnant and I want to see my first grandchild and hold him/her in my arms and kiss his/her chubby cheeks. I don't want YOU or YOUR children or grandchildren to die premature deaths – especially not due to making an ill-informed choice fueled by misdirected hate, ignorance, and revenge.

Think CAREFULLY about what future you're actually choosing when you vote tomorrow. Don't think just about yourself; think, instead, about all the lives you will be impacting with your choice – not just the human beings you know, but those you don't know.

Reach down inside and revive the compassion you still have inside. Remember that we are all in this together, and we must take care of one another. Before you check that box for president, honestly ask yourself if that person has the temperament, emotional maturity, intelligence, and experience to hold the office of president of the United States of America.

Be honest with yourself. If your candidate cannot be trusted to use Twitter in a responsible way without his handlers stepping in, then why on earth would you think your candidate should have control of the United States?

You will get what you ask for, America. I can only hope you ask for the right thing tomorrow, because if you do not, disaster and chaos will ensue and you will be sorry later. But by then it'll probably be too late.

Choose wisely.

Guess who's gonna be a grandma? Yep, it would be me!

Guess who's gonna be a grandma?! Daughter is preggo!




Now you guys know me and Paul are going to be grandparents. Can you imagine?! We will be awesome grandparents, too!

Britt has Rh-negative blood, so she has to take the RhoGAM shot. I have NO idea where she got Rh-negative blood. I sure as heck don't have it!

We joke with her about being Reptilian, of course. We tell her that her home base -- where her people are -- is beneath Denver International Airport (DIA). Those of you from Colorado will totally get that reference ;-p.

More (birth) family mystery to unravel

Received a nice, long e-mail from my first cousin

More info came out about my birth father...but it's info I had an inkling of a long time ago.

My first cousin, Debra, doesn't know much about my birth father, but she did mention a few things: he was a lawyer, he was a jerk to my mom (this much I knew because it's why she left him), and he was a witness in a murder trial.

My cousin found it interesting that I have an interest in forensic psychology and said it does make sense given that my father was a lawyer. Like Debra, I do believe many things are encoded into one's DNA, and those things get passed down to future generations. In fact, there have been recent studies on that very subject.

I'm pretty sure I know which trial, because for a small town of fewer than 5,000 people, it was a BIG DEAL. If I'm correct, the trial had to do with a music teacher who was murdered back in the 1960s...mainly because she was a lesbian and that was the reason why she was murdered (how awful is that?!).

If I'm right, my birth father was a witness in that trial. I'll need to confirm that by researching, but I am betting that was the trial she was referring to.

When I first mentioned to my adopted mom, Shirley, that I wanted to find out more about who my birth mother and father were, she strongly advised against it, telling me there were things I might find out that I wouldn't want to know. She used the term 'bad blood,' matter of fact. Naturally, this only intrigued me more.

So, in 1999, it took me all of two weeks to locate my birth mother and birth brothers, and then I began asking questions, trying to piece together who my birth father was and everything about who I was and where I came from. It's been a long journey and it's not over yet, but I'm not giving up. There are more mysteries and unknowns to be solved.

Oh, the drama!

Ever notice how, when you mind your own business, other people—and sometimes even strangers—can't stand the calm and feel compelled to start drama? I'll never understand it. It's like some people cannot stand to have a calm atmosphere, so they take great pleasure in stirring up shit just to get a reaction or to annoy others.

Example: late last night, Paul and I left Britt's apartment and headed over to where we are currently parking our RV while we are in town. It was late, and I was tired. All I wanted to do was go to bed. We crawled into bed, talked for a bit, and settled in (with our dogs) to go to sleep. Next thing we know, there's a woman outside our RV yelling. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Turns out, she was griping and intentionally antagonizing our dogs—AT 5 IN THE MORNING! She returned to her RV, which was parked to the left of ours and across the way, but then a little while later, she came back over to where we were and began yelling again. This time, she started yelling, "RUFF, RUFF, RUFF!" to get the dogs stirred up.

My first reaction: WTF?! Was she drunk? High? What the hell was her problem at FIVE in the morning that she would intentionally try to antagonize our dogs?!

Paul and I prefer to dodge conflict if we can, so we didn't engage her and got the dogs back into the back of the RV, into our bedroom. They'd gone up front to react to the stupid shit she was yelling and the RUFF RUFF sounds she was making. Finally, we fell asleep. I still felt uncomfortable because I had a feeling she wasn't done with us yet. I was right.

In the morning, around 11:45 a.m., Paul and I are sleeping—as were the dogs—and guess what happened? Yep, you probably figured out that she walked over by our RV and started raising hell again, talking loudly and intentionally trying to stir things up again. *sigh* What in the hell did this woman want, and what was her motivation for disturbing us and antagonizing our dogs?! I must admit, I was trying to figure out what her motive was, but then I became annoyed...and later on, angry.

Basically, Paul and I want to be left alone to do our thing, which is primarily our jobs, studying, gaming, reading, or watching movies/shows. We are pretty simple people and we like our peace. Now here we had a complete stranger who decided that, for whatever reason, we were going to be her target. Just great.

You know, I don't understand most people. I haven't for most of my life, though I've tried my level best to figure them out. But often, I feel like I'm an alien from another planet and that most of society is speaking another language or something. Might be why I'm so interested in psychology and why I've thrown myself into my Social and Forensic Psychology studies. Human beings are like exotic animals to me at times, even though I KNOW that I am a human being myself.

Long story short, I told Britt what was going on and she said, "I'll be right over." My first thought was, "Oh, shit." Mainly because Britt is a lot like me when she gets riled up. Once she's there, she doesn't take anybody's shit.

A few minutes later, Britt and her fiance, Tack, arrived. They went over and talked to the woman's boyfriend (who was embarrassed about the whole ordeal) and to the woman herself. Turns out the woman and her boyfriend were having serious issues, and he'd already thrown her stuff out of the RV and was going to break up with her and leave her after 6 1/2 years.

The woman, whose name is Lisa, shook my hand and told me she owed us an apology, that she'd projected her anger over her personal situation onto us. I felt compassion for her and told her that Paul and I didn't like to have conflict with people unless we had no other choice. We chatted for a few more minutes and left to walk back over to our RV. On the way back, her boyfriend indicated that he was sorry for the drama she had caused us. And I'm glad it was resolved—permanently, I hope—but as I sit here, I wonder how things will turn out for them. I saw the expression on her face and on his face. My heart dropped to my stomach because I knew it was a trying time for both of them, exacerbated by her acting out toward us and the dogs due to misplaced anger.

I've mentioned this before, but one unexpected side effect of living full-time in an RV is that you are THIS MUCH CLOSER to humanity and you're face-to-face with the real nature of human beings and society in general. It's unpleasant, it's often shocking, and it's a wake-up call. When you're in a house or apartment, you might get exposed to these things for a short time as you run errands and the like. But when you live in an RV and your home is wherever you park it, you SEE the pain, the trials of life, the layers of hurt, the disappointment. You also hear the tales of hard times and heartbreak. And you can attempt to steel yourself against all of this as much as you want, but in the end, you can't help but be affected in some way.

I would've never had some of these experiences otherwise, and it's added a dimension to my compassion, my mercy, my tolerance. I'm realizing that we're all just trying to make it on a daily basis, and for some people, it's damned hard to wake up and face another day. I've been there before, and I understand how they feel. And no matter how good my fortune gets in the future, I will never forget the things I've seen and heard so far, or the lessons I've learned. With everything in me, I truly hope Lisa and her boyfriend reconcile and they have a better life together than they could've ever imagined. No more pain, no more suffering.

Drama is so uncomfortable to me and is becoming more so as I become older. There are times when you cannot avoid conflict and you DO have to speak your mind, stand up for your rights, and set or reinforce boundaries. But I guess it's all about choosing your battles, and some are so trivial and basic that communication can usually resolve the problem. My first reaction was to leave and not even address the issue with Lisa because confronting or talking with strangers can lead to hair-trigger reactions in this day and age. You never know when someone will pull a weapon or do something off the charts in a fit of overreaction. But to my daughter's credit, as well as Tack's, they took the bull by the horns and addressed the issue in a direct, non-threatening manner.

Today I was the student and my 24-year-old daughter was my teacher. How cool is that?

A couple things of note

Just a heads-up that Paul and I are both going back to school. This means we will have reading, assignments, and homework on top of our jobs. As a result, our time will become even more limited for social activities. I know that's a bummer, but we are committed to our current goals and dedicated to achieving them.

If we aren't available to socialize, either online or offline, this will be why. We are excited to get back into an academic routine and our jobs and studies will take priority over anything else. Thanks for your understanding and encouragement. ;-)

In other news, my Smashwords author interview just went live. Pop over and give it a look: https://www.smashwords.com/interview/beverlywaltonporter

Happy birthday, Bill.

Today would've been my stepfather William "Bill" Thayer's 84th birthday. He passed away many years ago. I had two stepfathers, but Bill was the only one who counted. The first one was nothing short of evil.

Anyway, I wanted to post this in remembrance of Bill. I wish you could see Jon and Britt now that they're grown up. Love and miss you!

The Nocturnal Editor

You may or may not have noticed, but I have renamed the Abraxas Writing & Editing Services FB page to The Nocturnal Editor. If you haven't dropped by and 'liked' my page, please do! If you need writing or editing services, PM me or e-mail nocturnaleditor@gmail.com. ~Bev The Nocturnal Editor

Cool green flame is cool because SCIENCE

Life gets in the way

Lyn and Nate had planned to move back to Colorado Springs and were in the process of getting everything set to do so. That's when Lyn died on August 8, 2016.

Both Paul and I want to remember and honor Lyn's memory, but we can't leave town and drive four hours, total, to go to La Veta for only an hour or two this coming Saturday for her memorial. I feel awful about it. We were trying to go, and had actually canceled out on being volunteers for Colorado Springs Comic Con, but life is such that things just aren't going to work out.

I have a full work queue this weekend (which I am GRATEFUL for) and we can't drive the RV all those miles until we get our fuel pump and brakes fixed. People have offered us rides, but we can't do that because they want us to ride down on Friday, spend the night, and stay on Saturday for the memorial, then drive back here. With the dogs, we can't be gone that long. Britt can't have them in her apartment, and she can't leave her dogs and stay in our RV for all that time.

To find an alternative to honor Lyn's memory, I talked with her daughter, Angie, and the plan is to have a small, casual get-together at Britt's apartment sometime over the next week or so where we can all come together, remember Lyn, light candles and incense, and share stories and memories of her. I'm sure Lyn would be happy with that.

No matter what we plan here, all I know is that she will never be forgotten and I am grateful for her influence in my life. She left far too soon, but she will always be remembered fondly.