Monday, May 9, 2016

The wedding hair incident

In yet another version of, "I can't believe that shit really happened to Bev & Paul," I submit the latest fiasco:

On May 7, on the way to Mike and Julie's wedding, we are tooling down the road in Mike's car. I'm in the backseat while Mike and Paul are in the front. The windows are open and wind is whirling about. My hair, which is down to my waist now (longest it's ever been), is whirling about, too. We meant to braid it, but time got away from us.

I reach behind me and grab the seatbelt, pulling it forward and across to latch it. It gets caught and won't pull completely forward, so I release it so it can go back into its holder so I can try again. Except the wind blows my long hair back, the hair gets rolled up into the seatbelt mechanism...and suddenly, my head can't move forward and my long hair is CAUGHT in the mechanism.

Trying not to panic, I pull at it, trying to do so without mentioning it to Mike or Paul. Nope. Won't budge. Try again, thinking, "Oh SHIT!" Still can't get it out. Can't move my head forward past a certain point, either. Realize I have to tell the guys about this stupid predicament. Because *of course* this would happen on the way to a wedding!

Mike pulls the car over. Lets Julie know that we have a situation with my hair caught in the seatbelt mechanism while Paul tries to free my hair. He pulls and cannot get it out. My hair is firmly installed in there, along with the seatbelt.

I ask Mike if he happens to have any scissors in his car (because hey, that's something most people carry in their car, right? /sarcasm). Nope, he doesn't. Paul usually carries a multiplier, but he didn't bring it with him this time.

Suddenly, I remember I probably have at least one, maybe two, pocket knives in my purse. I can't move my head past a certain point, so I grab my purse and fumble through it blindly, not able to fully look down and search in the bowels of my purse. AHA! There's a knife!

Paul saws at my hair with the knife, which happens to be a dull knife at that. It isn't successfully cutting my hair! SERIOUSLY?! This is the type of weird shit that has happened to me my entire life, so why shouldn't I be surprised that the knife is too dull to free me from this seatbelt mechanism?! Holy crap.

Minutes later, Paul is finally able to cut off a small amount of hair with the knife, but not much. Still, it's enough to manipulate the seatbelt mechanism so it'll release. The small bit of hair he's been able to cut out, maybe an inch if that, is enough to free the rest of my hair. Whew!

Crisis averted, we continue to the wedding venue, although we arrive late. I'm embarrassed, yet amused at how stupid the entire fiasco was. I mean...what are the chances? Well, if you know me or Paul, you'll know we seem to attract the weirdest damn people and situations into our lives. Events that seem so random and implausible that you'd question them. In this case, however, you are welcome to verify with Mike, who was probably thinking a whole range of thoughts we aren't even aware of! wink emoticon

Thanks to Julie Salisbury Estabrooks and her husband Mike for having a sense of humor. Then again, if I could think of another person this randomness would happen to, it would be Julie. She, too, seems to attract strange events and people into her life! She's a kindred spirit in that way. Love ya, Julie!

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