Sunday, October 25, 2015

When a tomboy marries her broham

Me: "Oh no! The last iron pill."

Paul: "It's all yours."

Me: "It's already in my mouth, so I dare you to take it out."

This is an example of how our conversations usually go. If you didn't know any better, you might think Paul and I were adolescent schoolboy friends instead of a married female and male. Why? Well, part of it is that I'm a tomboy at heart. I'm not a girly-girl type. I'm not a high-maintenance woman.

In short, Paul's like my broham. We have a bromance, except I'm a bro in personality most of the time, but not in physical terms. He likes boobs and I have boobs. He likes my ass and I have a female ass. So he gets a no-bullshit woman who doesn't care for all the trappings or perks many females want.

I hate shopping, so he doesn't have to get dragged around malls or stores. In fact, if I could shop online for everything we needed, I would. I hate shopping unless it's for something important, like a new computer or tech gadgets.

I also don't care about collecting a gazillion shoes. Do they cover my feet? Are they comfortable? Okay, that's what I need. It's not that I don't like shoes, it's just that I'd rather spend my time playing World of Warcraft, watching movies, reading, writing, or watching online course lectures than shopping for shoes. If my feet weren't so stupidly weird in size, I'd probably get my shoes online too. Yes, I've had high heels and fuck-me shoes in my day, but we aren't partiers or clubbers, so I have no need of them right now.

Now, I still enjoy flowers and chocolate (I kept that female gene, apparently), but I don't require expensive or elaborate bouquets. Pick me some wildflowers (if it's legal) and I'll be just as happy. Or, you know, just pick up a bunch at the local 7-11 or Safeway and I'm happy. It's the thought that counts. The flowers will smell nice and all of that, but regardless of where you bought them, they're gonna die in several days, right? Practical, I know. Must be my Virgo rising (not sure).

But yeah, I understand the way males think much more than I do the female mind. It was always more fun to hang out with guys than girls when I was growing up. They didn't go to the pool just to sun, they went to the pool to roughhouse and play. They didn't cause drama and there were no catfights. There was no competition or one-upmanship. What's more, I was surrounded by males in wet swimsuits and when you roughhoused with them, you could feel their dingles inside their swim shorts. ;-) I may have been a tomboy, but I still had pubescent urges, after all.

I'll be honest: some women don't like me. I'm sure some of them hate me. That's not my problem, of course. Not everybody will like or approve of you. Women can be extra catty, though. For many of them, it's always a competition of some sort. I got plenty of flack in high school for having so many male friends. Because, gee, I must've been a huge slut who was fucking all of the guys, right? Wrong. I wasn't.

Plus, many women can't stand my strong personality, my blunt nature, my opinionated ideas, or my occasional rough language. Well, tough shit. You get what you get, and this is who I am. The thing is, if I griped about their personality and wanted them to change, it would be a whole other story. Ever notice the people who gripe about your personality and want you to change are the same ones that would balk if you treated them the same way? Yeah. How about NO. If you can't stand me telling you my opinion without the frills, find a BFF that will fawn over you, because that's not me.

Anyway, the point is that Paul is my best friend and we have a bromance of sorts (at least personality-wise). He says he knew I was the right one when I watched (and enjoyed) Orgy of the Dead with him when we first began dating. We love horror movies, we are geeky, we are weird, we are flaky introverts, and we are odd ducks. But I know how lucky I am to have found an odd duck like me. One who loves me for who I am, warts and all (figuratively, because I don't have warts!)

So, if you're a tomboy, take heart. There are plenty of guys out there who will understand you and have fun with you. If you're an odd duck, there's a match out there for you somewhere. It may take some time, but you'll come across your mate. Or inner broham. Whatever!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

I have a bread problem.

Sometimes I wonder about the weirdest things, like how many meals I've eaten in my life, how many times I've slept, and how many times I've pooped. Yes, I already know I'm strange. Sometimes I'll ask Paul, "Hey, you ever wonder if..?"
His answer is usually, "No."

In other news, I'm eating amazing zucchini bread from our friend Chandra. I want to dive into a pile of this bread I love it so much. Mmmmffff!

Oh, then there's the yummy ginger-carrot soup here as well. But I'm stuffed from last night's leftover chili. The autumn chill makes me feel so homey and content. When summer leaves, I feel more at peace and centered. Well, except when life's bullshit gets in the way. You know what I mean. Still, I'm glad summer is gone for long while. If it never came back, I wouldn't miss it.


So, I'm a dumbass. It's pumpkin-apple bread.
Now you know why I'll never be a professional wine taster.
People are like, "Oh, can you taste/smell the hints of...blah, blah, blah?"
I'm like, "No. No, I can't. All I know is OH MY GOD IT'S WINE AND GET INTO MY MOUTH!"
Same situation here.
I just know delicious. That's what I know.

(*Yes, I use the F-word on occasion. If that bothers you, then you're probably going to be offended in the future, too.)

Friday, October 23, 2015

[Bev's Dream] A concert, a tragedy, getting lost, waking up sore and numb

This is one thing you'll find out rather quickly, and that is I have weird dreams. None of this butterfly, unicorn, cotton candy stuff for me—no sir! I have weird, intense, and often disturbing dreams. Sometimes I share them because I want a record of them (because, unfortunately, some of the dreams I've had have come true. Here's the latest (don't say I didn't warn you):

Woke up after a crappy dream about being at a concert venue and there was a shooting inside the arena/colosseum. You could hear the agonized screams of the people whose loved ones were killed or injured. 

I was with my first husband, Gary, and shortly after he left to use the bathroom and I was so freaked out I grabbed the hand of the guy to my left (a stranger) because I was afraid. Then everyone began to leave and Gary wasn't back yet, so I was freaking out because I didn't know where he was or remember where the car was parked. 

Strangely, there was a long, light blue casket-like object laid out the entire length of the exit aisle that we had to walk on top of to get out of the venue. I exited, then snuck back in to find Gary (security guys were posted to keep people from going back in). Finally saw him and called out to him. He didn't hear me at first, but I eventually caught up with him. 

It was a stressful dream and my whole body was tense and sore when I woke up. My right thumb is also numb and it's been that way since I woke up. Hopefully the numbness goes away soon. Soon as my brain is awake I'll answer messages & be able to think clearly. But first, food & drink! Back soon.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Loki: Border Collie and...?

Love my baby boy Loki

We think he may have hearing issues, because he can't tell where sounds come from at times. We aren't sure what other breed he is. Possibly Dalmation or French Brittany Spaniel? We won't know till we do a breed DNA test.

Cast of characters: Loki

Vigilant Loki watching our cat Lucy. 
He's obsessed with that cat!

Loki is our Border Collie mix. We adopted him September 30, 2014. He's primarily my dog (me, meaning Bev). He thinks he owns me, which I guess he sort of does!

Guess who's coming to visit this weekend?!

Been offline for a couple of days, so it may take me a bit to catch up. Today started out crappy, but then I got the best surprising news in a while -- my son Jon, his awesome girlfriend Cait, and their dog Jack are coming to visit us for a few days! I'm so shocked and happy that for once I cried tears of joy! They will arrive late Friday night and will stay until Tuesday when they'll have to drive back to Chicago.

Jon was supposed to keep things secret and surprise me when they arrived, but he knew I was feeling down today and ended up telling me (much to the chagrin of Britt & Paul, who both already knew about the surprise). I'm glad Jon told me, though. I'm so freakin' HAPPY right now that Paul, me, the two kids, Cait, and Jack will all be in one place for a few days! ;-)

Photos will be forthcoming, of course.